An Interview with Myself

It’s hard for most people to face up to the things they have done. I on the other hand have met my past literally head on face to face. Let me explain, I was offered the chance to return in time to interview anyone I could think of. I have chosen myself.

The nervous feeling I felt standing outside the interview room cannot be fully explained, knowing that inside behind that very door was my past. The thing is that although it is my past; it is the Me within that will be possibly glimpsing his future. The most fearful step that I had to take was to reach out and turn the handle. It may seem a simple thing to you reading this right now. You’re probably sat there with excitement thinking “Wow I would love to do that,” but let me tell you it’s not. My hands began to sweat as I continually reached out to the door handle and withdrew it instantly. My life did in-fact pass before me. Would I tell him not to do certain things or would I tell him to do certain things. Well with a very deep breath I did turn the handle and I did enter the room.

 I was surprised to be faced with the twenty year old me stood staring out the window. I could not really believe that I looked so big, the job I was doing at that time really kept me fit…. (Thank god.) I seemed to be a lot taller then, than I am now; and my hair is dyed with blonde streaks. I remembered the hours of just sitting whilst the dye soaked in, and the pain my friend put me through pulling each strand through the very tight fitting cap. I am not sure if it’s just me being an old man or whether the younger me is really that intimidating. After the initial greetings I bid him to retake his seat, and I thanked him for agreeing to do this interview.

 There were certain things I had to agree to as part of the deal to go back in-time, one was not to reveal who I was.

 As he sat waiting for me to begin my mind became a complete blank, I could not even remember that all I had to do was open the folder now sat in my lap. Everything I wanted to ask or mention had been written down the night before. He sat there now drumming his finger upon the arm of the chair; his attention span was beginning to wane as he stared out of the window. I have to say I am still like that only I don’t drum my fingers anymore, but if anyone is astute enough they can still tell.

 Finally coming to my senses I opened the plain vanilla folder on my lap. The first question was simple.

 What are you doing now and what would you change?
“At present I am a roadie and in three days I will be going to Europe for a month on tour, as for changing things you have got to be kidding I love what I do and would not change it for the world.”

 I have to admit that his answer did make my heart sink, with hindsight I knew it would cost him his marriage and the opportunity to watch his children grow up. I knew after returning from the tour he would never settle down he would roam the world working. I was torn by the information I could fill his head with on how to improve his life how long certain things would take to allow him to rise to the top of his profession; but I was bound by the conditions I had signed.

The rest of the interview went as I had expected, he was totally uninterested in my questions and gave just cursory answers. As someone who has now begun to pay more attention to life, his attitude began to kind-of tick me off. At that point of realisation I closed the folder and looked at him. After a few moments he looked at me and all he could say was, “Well is that it? I’ve got stuff to do and places’ to go so if we are finished?” I could feel my temper rising to such an extent I just wanted to reach out and slap his face. I wanted to tell him all I knew and what by Our own actions what would happen and who he would hurt; I wanted to scream at him all the facts and figures at my disposal. But I suppose that if I changed my past I would not be the person I am today.

We can only be guided so far, firstly by our parents then family, friends, teachers and anyone else who thinks they can help you move through life. I believe that going back however exciting it seemed when offered it was the wrong thing to do. It pointed out just how stubborn I was and how foolish my whole attitude to life was. But like I have said before……. “It has made me who I am today.”   



Until the next time.......... Repus Vas